Author: Andy Zach
Narrator: Phil Blechman, Raven Perez
Length: 10 hours 50 minutes
Series: Life After Life Chronicles, Book 3
Release date: Jan. 7, 2019
Publisher: Jule Inc.
Genre: Science Fiction; Humor
Zombies charge first, ask questions later.Middle-aged, overweight, and undead, Diane Newby leads the paranormal privateers against criminals and corruption. Sailing to trouble spots too sensitive for the US government, with zombie strength and regeneration they beat bullies into submission. Aided by zombie turkeys, corgis, and bulls, vicious criminal geniuses fall before them. If Diane gets overwhelmed by foes, her lovely zombie bodyguards and romantic zombie husband come to the rescue.Out of the blue, new foes appear. Or are they friends? Or both? The frenemies neutralize zombies and orchestrate world peace. They disrupt the economy and produce fabulous wealth. Even the greatest criminals and governments can't stop them from dominating the world.Can humanity afford the price of peace? All must surrender freedom to a not-so-benign dictatorship. Diane and the paranormal privateers must do the unthinkable to save humanity. But is it enough?In an explosive and unconventional ending to Andy Zach's Life After Life Chronicles, you will learn what happens when the paranormal privateers meet the world's greatest fear. And you will laugh all the way.
Andy Zach was born Anastasius Zacharias, in Greece. His parents were both zombies. Growing up, he loved animals of all kinds. After moving to the United States as a child, in high school, he won a science fair by bringing toads back from suspended animation. Before turning to fiction, Andy published his Ph.D. thesis "Methods of Revivification for Various Species of the Kingdom Animalia" in the prestigious JAPM, Journal of Paranormal Medicine. Andy, in addition to being the foremost expert on paranormal animals, enjoys breeding phoenixes. He lives in Illinois with his five phoenixes.
With his first book, "Zombie Turkeys" Andy blazed new ground in paranormal humor. The second book in his Life After Life Chronicles, "My Undead Mother-in-law" expands the zombie plague from turkeys to humans, with hilarious results. You can find both volumes on Amazon Kindle, Createspace print, and Audible audiobook editions.
Not content to keep in zombies earthbound, Andy puts them afloat in his third book, "Paranormal Privateers". Just when you thought every funny zombie trope had been explored, new humorous horizons open up. You can get "Paranormal Privateers" in Kindle and print formats. The audiobook is available now on Audible.
Having conquered paranormal animal humor in his first series, Andy Zach launches into middle school superhero genre with Secret Supers. Four disabled seventh graders all get superpowers. Who knew a disability could be so useful for hiding a superpower? But the four friends, Jeremy, Dan, Kayla, and Aubrey confront problems that can't be solved by superpowers.
Phil Blechman is a mystical voice wizard from the New Yorkian borough of Queens. His narration and audio production work is supplemented by professions in sports journalism, theatrical writing and direction.
Zombie Turkeys
- Protagonists
- Sam Melvin – steady, reliable, but unambitious and unremarkable. High school graduate who stayed in his home town in Illinois and then went to work for the school’s editor, Lisa Kambacher, when she came back from college and started an online and printed paper for their small town of Midley. He’s a surprisingly good reporter because of his curiousity and friendly amiable manner. Everyone likes him, although they may not remember him.
- Lisa Kambacher – irascible, demanding, driven, she starts her own paper after she graduates with a journalism degree. She’s a penny-pincher and her only employee is her high school reporter Sam Melvin. In high school and college, she was hated by girls because of her caustic tongue. She didn’t like any guys, because none of them were good enough. Nobody likes her, but everyone remembers her.
- Antagonists – Zombie Turkeys. Nearly impossible to kill. You can shoot them, squish them, blast them, and they regenerate and come back stronger. All they want to do is eat everything in their path.
My Undead Mother-in-law
Sam Melvin and Lisa Kambacher plus:
- Protagonists
- Diane Newby - 5' 3" 140 pounds, middle-aged woman, brown hair with blonde highlights, the late 40s. Housewife and volunteers at church. Bubbly, positive and outgoing, with a bad temper. Became a zombie with her son Donald and husband George.
- Main traits - friendly, outgoing, talkative, takes charge and initiative, wants to please people
- Secondary traits - Christian morality,, quick-tempered, likes baking, dislikes cleaning
- contrary traits - must be in charge, domineering, romantic
- George Newby - 5 10" 250 pounds, quiet, easy going, even as a zombie. Always supports his wife. Incredibly strong even before he becomes a zombie. Former football player.
- Main traits - wants to get along in peace, likes helping others, logical and deductive,
- Secondary traits: Christian morality, likes solving problems, answering questions
- Antagonist
- Vik Staskas - villain Long black hair, he keeps greased back, trying to look like the actor Steve Seagal. He's an amoral genius, who thinks of himself first and foremost. Paranoid. Born in Belgrade, of Serbian parents. Currently a billionaire, a mobster, who steals and murders using remotely controlled insects and animals. The first cyborg controlled animals were Theodore and Alvin, a pair of chipmunks he still uses for spying.
- Major traits: genius, perfect memory, completely self-centered on goal of world domination, introverted, secretive, perfectionist,
- Secondary traits: compulsive planner, paranoid, unfeeling toward people, amoral
- Contrary traits: sentimental, nostalgic, misses having a family, needs a home, wants to be distinctive, affectionate to his pets
Paranormal Privateers
- Protagonists
- George and Diane Newby, plus
- Lulu Gutierrez - 27 Darkly beautiful bodyguard from Aculpulco Mexico. Former cliff diver and rock climber. Former Vik Staskas bodyguard, now protecting Diane Newby. Former MMA fighter and bodybuilder. Trained in katana, nunchuks, and
- Sharon Windham - 26 tall blonde bodyguard from England. Former Vik Staskas bodyguard, now protecting Diane Newby. Former Crossfitter and model. Didn't want to lose weight as a model. Hoped to become a UN translator. Multi-lingual. Trained in katana, nunchuks, and naginata. Former competitive swimmer. Speaks 11 languages: English, French, German, Norwegian, Swedish, Danish, Dutch, Spanish, Arabic, Russian, Chinese
- Antagonist
- John Smith – over 100 years old, raised in a parochial school and turned off on religion and morality. Urbane and sophisticated in his tastes, gourmand. Salt and pepper pompadour, he wears ostentatious tuxedos (purple, pink, lavender) with ruffled shirts to hide as an eccentric billionaire. Perfect memory, likes working behind the scenes. Worrywart and paranoiac, he always seeks perfection. Has been running crime empires through his children for eighty years. He coordinates his genius and that of his children and has a lot of technology unknown to the rest of mankind. One advance increases human lifespan. He controls smaller countries and influences larger ones for his purposes. Has an aversion to swearing due to his childhood training. Thoughtful and considerate towards his guests.
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