A Guide to Teaching Kids Relaxation, Regulation, and Coping Techniques
Nonfiction; Education; Psychology; Child Development
Release Day: December 7, 2020
Publisher: Whole Child Counseling
Help children develop healthy coping skills with this brilliant 12-week plan.
Are you an educator or mental health professional searching for guidance? Do you want to discover a powerful all-in-one program for helping kids manage their anxiety, regulate their emotions, and cope with their feelings? Then Skills for Big Feelings is the book for you!
Inside this heartfelt, comprehensive guide, you’ll join School Adjustment Counselor and Licensed Mental Health Counselor Casey O'Brien Martin as she reveals a powerful, practical framework to help children cope with anxiety, overcome stress, and learn to thrive. Built on a selection of proven cognitive behavioral techniques, breathing exercises, and mindfulness, as well as engaging activities including stretching, gratitude, visualization and positive self-talk, Skills for Big Feelings seeks to empower kids to embrace their emotional growth over the course of a comprehensive 12-week plan.
With over a dozen activities including accepting mistakes, identifying support systems, acknowledging triggers and much more, this complete guide provides educators and professionals alike with a detailed, objective-based framework for promoting optimal social-emotional health.
Trauma-Sensitive Mindful
Moments
Mindful Moments, a secular practice that many will
benefit from, are guided relaxation scripts. We start each Mindful Moment with
a self-scan. My intention while writing these scripts was to use invitational
language in an attempt to be more trauma-sensitive. Please note that due to
this choice of language, the length of the scripts may be too long for some of
your children, especially if they are younger or have not experienced guided
relaxation scripts before. So, feel free to shorten the scripts as needed.
Kearney and Simpson (2020) write about teaching
mindfulness to people who have experienced trauma. They suggest building a
“container of trust” (p. 74) first, which the positive presence and the
structure help provide, as well as using “language in the form of an invitation
as a way of promoting empowerment and choice” (p. 90). To learn more about
trauma-sensitive mindfulness practices, I refer you to David Treleaven’s book Trauma-Sensitive
Mindfulness: Practices for Safe and Transformative Healing (2018). Treleaven
(2018) describes observable cues of dysregulated arousal and identifies five
principles for trauma-sensitive mindfulness. He also includes suggestions to
help people have who experienced trauma understand and stay within their window
of tolerance.
It is important to remember that this may be the first
time the children experience a guided relaxation script or Mindful Moment, so
make sure you let them know what to expect and give them some choices. For
example, some children might not feel comfortable closing their eyes and that’s
okay! You can give them the option to soften their gaze instead or say, “If you
feel comfortable, you can…” At first, the children might need an example from
you of what softening their gaze or looking down at their nose looks and feels
like; otherwise, some children might get goofy and start crossing their eyes.
Before you embark on your first Mindful Moment, you will also want to remind
the children about the goals you are working on together while practicing
Mindful Moments.
When reading the scripts, try to use a soothing, calm
tone. Read slowly and be sure to pause where appropriate. You can also ad-lib
as needed. For example, if a child is breathing out very loudly and you think
it might be distracting to others, you might say “remember to take quiet
breaths.” Or, if you hear noises outside the room, you can add a comment such
as “let any sounds you hear fade away into the background.” As the children get
more comfortable with the process, you can also give them longer periods of
silence, but you will want to keep those pauses brief at first.
After the Mindful Moment, if time allows, it is helpful
to do a Feelings Check to gauge how the children’s experience was, especially
when first introducing this technique. It is helpful for the facilitator to
model what is expected during the Feelings Check by saying something like “I
haven’t done a Mindful Moment in a while, so that felt very relaxing to me. But
I was also a little distracted today and thinking about some other things. I
know that with some time and practice, the ‘Mindful Moments’ will get easier
for me again.” During the Feelings Check, it is important to emphasize the fact
that all feelings are valid and welcome in the space. We want to model being
nonjudgmental and be sure we don’t label emotions as positive or negative, good
or bad.
Slow, Deep Belly Breaths (Mindful
Moment Session 1)
We will start our Mindful Moment with a self-scan. Show
the visual and remind the group what a self-scan means. Notice what your body
is doing. Please sit up straight with a quiet body and mouth. Place your hands
on your knees or on your desk. Remember to do what works best for your own body
here. As you sit up, you still want to feel comfortable and not too stiff. When
we take a Mindful Moment, everything we do is a choice. I’m hoping you will try
it, because the goal is to help you feel more relaxed, but you can sit quietly
and wait for us to finish if you aren’t ready just yet.
I invite you to place your hand on your belly and take
the biggest breath of air you’ve taken in all day. Breathe in slowly and
deeply, and feel your belly fill up with air. Now, breathe out slowly and
deeply, and feel your belly fall. Breathe in and feel your belly rise. Breathe
out and feel your belly fall.
Now, if you are comfortable, please close your eyes, and
we’ll try that with our eyes shut a couple of times. If you’re not ready to
close your eyes, you can gently soften your eyes or look down at your nose.
Keep your hand on your belly, and feel it rise as you breathe in and fall as
you breathe out. Practice on your own for a couple of breaths. Pause. Now, I
welcome you to bring your attention back to this room and think about how you
feel right now in this very moment. Please don’t say the words out loud; just
think them in your head. Stretch your arms in any way that feels good for you
and gently open your eyes.
Debrief:
How did your first Mindful Moment feel? There are no
right or wrong feelings. It might have been different for everyone. Just like
exercise makes your muscles stronger, the brain acts like a muscle, so when we
practice our Mindful Moments, we will get stronger and better at it. We will
keep practicing together.
Kearney, D. J.
and Simpson, T. L. (2020). Mindfulness-based interventions for trauma and
its
consequences. American Psychological
Association.
Treleaven, D. A.
(2018). Trauma-sensitive mindfulness: Practices for safe and transformative
healing.
New York: W.W Norton & Company.
Casey draws on her unique skillsets and interest to create mind-body programs designed to promote holistic wellbeing and emotional regulation in children of all ages, helping them to achieve their highest potential. She believes that teaching kids how to cope with anxiety and understand their feelings is an essential part of their personal growth, and she’s honored to be a part of this invaluable process.
Casey graduated from Lesley University, where she currently serves as an Adjunct Faculty Member in the Graduate School of Arts and Social Sciences. For more information, visit www.wholechildcounseling.com.
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