Vampire
Joe
by
Jimmie Christo
Genre:
Humorous Urban Fantasy
Do
you even know how much of a pain becoming a vampire is?
All
Joe ever wanted was to shoot up some smack, sit in his apartment,
listen to some Nick Cave and be left the hell alone.
Now
he has to cope with his addictions, his dealer, a new girlfriend,,
the mafia, the cops, his christian minister AND an unquenchable
thirst for human blood.
How
the hell does life get harder AFTER you die!?
Review
from the 28th Annual Writer’s Digest
Self-Published Book Awards:
There
was absolutely nothing conventional about this novel or its author.
The author bio is unique – I’ve never encountered something so
demeaning yet at the same time funny and strangely endearing. And as
for the book? This is a very different take on the vampire theme as
we encounter a no-good, drug-addicted lay-about gain immortality and
bring other equally antisocial undesirables into the fold. You really
want to despise the main character for his attitude, drug abuse,
filthy language, squalid and nasty lifestyle and sexism – I wanted
to hate him on sight, yet the author manages to draw you into his
world and actually start pulling for him. I didn’t even want to
read any more at one point as the excessive use of foul language and
vulgarity seemed gratuitous. But then my eyes and ears have witnessed
much worse, including Trainspotting, and that was a masterpiece. So
the author is a skillful writer in the way he manages to drag you
kicking and screaming into the story and start actually liking and
sympathizing with some of the people. Jimmie Christo is a master at
character development humanizing the most deplorably diabolically
sick characters. I found myself happily reading right through to the
end, tightly clutching my pearls as I eagerly flipped through the
pages. The dialogue is well-written, vulgarities and all, the plot is
face-paced, the cover is striking in its simplicity, and overall a
good read – it’s one I definitely won’t forget!
Born
in Carlton in 1979, Jimmie Christo is an author of the lowest
calibre.
A
criminal since birth (he stole his mother's heart), he grew in the
care of the state until he was 18, whereby said state awarded him the
Keys to the Universe (citation needed) after imparting no life
skills.
He
has literally been using the word literally literally, literally all
his life (figuratively speaking) and is a pain in the arse most of
the time.
He
spent four years in jail for crimes he didn't really commit to,
namely trafficking (We believe the plan was to consume the whole
volume in it's entirety himself, although it was too large an amount
for anyone not completely ravaged by addiction to comprehend as
such), posession, weapons, burglary and being a not very nice
person.
While
incarcerated at Her Majesty's Pleasure, determined to get more out of
them than they took from him, he wrote a whole bunch of books and
movies. Also, he may have changed his outlook on his existence. That
said, he is not returning the Keys.
Vampire
Joe is his first published work, read by eleven people to critical
acclaim. Everyone else who read it said it was vile rubbish.
He
has also written YA sci fi and children's novels, understandably
under a much nicer alter ego, keeping grown up stuff like Joe
separate.
$50 Amazon
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