Political Satire/Fiction
Date Published: October 28th, 2025
Publisher: Acorn Publishing
The battle pits cereal titan Todd Swindell, head of Flakes Alive Incorporated, against Chad Scandalman of the Great American Flake Company. When Scandalman hires a diminutive assassin named Twinkle to bump off his rival’s top chemist, it sparks a war of the flakes that makes the bloody feud of York and Lancaster look tame by comparison.
But not everyone in the Cornflake capital of Domino, Indiana, is happy with the status quo. Ziggie Wexler, an unemployed pipefitter and all-around average Joe, knows that something is deeply wrong with his country.
All history prior to 2040 has been banned, but old-timers whisper about the days when people still voted for their leaders. After Ziggie posts fiery polemics against the state to the Clandestine Journal, he becomes a marked man. But in a world built on lies, there’s one truth he’s sure of. Somebody needs to fight back.
Chapter 1 - The Fly Trophy
Printed on a large,
rectangular piece of manila paper, the following text could be found in every
post office where drones drop off the mail, every school bulletin board that
nobody likes to read, and on the front page of every newspaper in the country.
It also hung next to
the window of Todd Swindell’s office at the Flakes Alive Incorporated (FAI)
headquarters, where the wily Mr. Swindell served as chief executive officer
(CEO). The proclamation marked the beginning of a new phase in stricter
governance of the States of the Union.
January 1, 2098
The New America stands
poised to prosper. Our new government boasts The Big Seven, that is, seven of
the most skilled Chief Executive Officers (CEOs) in the business arena, to
guide America through good times and crises as well. This establishmentarian ruling
body has aided us in assimilating the good and expelling the bad of previous
systems. Just look at the results of fifty-eight years of governing excellence.
The loathsome prison system has been abolished, as the new way of serving time
involves laboring assiduously for an assigned corporation, while improving
oneself for future endeavors.
Meanwhile, we have
practically eradicated the black-market drug trade, creating safe places where
one can recreate with substances while under laboratory supervision and with
the knowledge that an antidote stands ready to be administered any time the user
has a bad experience. We have eliminated big religion, with its plethora of
money beggars, releasing its grip on politics and business. We have done away
with the presidency, political parties and that annoying part of government
that spends half of its time on campaigning for the next election instead of
tending to its duties. Now the government serves you the full four years of
each term. And those four years are ruled over by The Big Seven, who were
appointed by the final president of the United States, Ghant Wackersham.
Over the fifty-eight
years of Mother Earth’s existence, we have removed many distractions from the
workforce and the workplace, such as sports and sex. The banning of the latter
has ushered us into an era where less than one-half of one percent of the population
has a sexually transmitted disease. Soon, STDs will be completely eliminated.
This modern America
will shine like never before, as people live productive lives and help the
corporate government build for the future. Now then, let the pages of your
lives turn, my friends, and experience the New and Improved America here in the
year 2098. At the bottom were the seven CEOs’ signatures, as well as a spot for
the signature of whomever posted the document—in this case, Todd Swindell, FAI
CEO.
Look! There’s Todd
now! He’s having coffee while perusing the pages of the Wall Street Digest.
Whoops! A fat fly just buzzed past Todd’s thin nose. Angry Todd grabs a
flyswatter from a hook on the wall and WHAP! He nails that ornery sucker! The
tiny creature’s brown guts make a smear on Todd’s office window.
***
“I refuse to clean
that spot until the day Flakes Alive Incorporated overtakes the Great American
Flake Company (GAFC) in flake sales,” declared a raspy-voiced Todd. “I’m tired
of second place, goddamnit! Let those guts rot on that window until we make number
one! Let them be a testament to our perseverance here at Flakes Alive
Incorporated.”
The thin,
hollow-cheeked, goatee-wearing Swindell brushed the three scrawny hairs that
tried to cover a lot of naked real estate on the top of his bony head and
uttered a plaintive sigh. On his office wall, a picture of a sword made in the
year 2040 hung proudly. His secret collection of antique swords was only on
display in his sumptuously furnished home, out of sight from any earthling who
might care to turn him in for withholding merchandise made before 2040, which
was against the law. But the rich could bend and stretch the rules a bit.
About the Author
Immensely curious about human behavior, James spent the 1970s hanging out on the streets to observe people, many of whom became inspirations for his fictional characters. Later, he worked in cube farms at conservative insurance companies, where the idiosyncrasies of corporate personalities sparked his imagination.
James has spent the last decade reading and writing offbeat fiction about bizarre protagonists. Corporate Almighty: 2098, a dystopian tale about the rise of the corporation and the fall of democracy, follows his first two novels, Animal Candy and Pods of Bubbledumb: A Study in Mass Depravity.
Born and raised in an industrial suburb on the south edge of Chicago, James lives with his wife Sue and four cats in Evansville, Indiana.
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